The Truth About Planning Your Wedding Day
Here’s the deal.
I’ve had the amazing opportunity to experience weddings now from BOTH perspectives. From both a wedding vendor, as well as a client. So let me keep it very real for you when it comes to planning out how your wedding day is going to FLOW.
As a newly married man who’s gone through the planning process, something I really struggled with was that social media created this unimaginable set of “parameters or guidelines” that wedding couples should “keep in mind” when planning their wedding. Honestly though, I believe that this comes from a place of love. Every couple has had different experiences with their weddings and it’s my opinion that these couples are sharing them and the insights they learned to try to help the next wave of amazing couples.
My team and I have collectively filmed nearly 200 weddings in almost 4 years. During that time we’ve worked to help couples build their timelines, photo shots lists, filmed numerous types of wedding ceremonies, seen numerous wedding receptions go off without a hitch… and some that have crashed and burned, filmed in snow/sleet/sunshine/rain and everything in between, and I believe THAT paired with now experiencing planning a wedding myself makes me more than qualified to finally give my own opinion with how I think a wedding day SHOULD flow.
Drum roll please!
***drummmm drummy drum sound***
It literally doesn’t matter… well not that much.
People will tell you:
You NEED to do a first look before the ceremony because that’s what EVERYONE does!
You NEED to do a sparkler send off at the end of the night because it’ll look SO GOOD for your photos!
You NEED to film your private vow reading… because even though it’s supposed to be private… we want you to share it online with the world.
Little rant… but I promise I’ll bring this full circle.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m HERE for the fun fancy stuff if that’s what you want. I mean TRULY want, and not just because your friend who just got married told you to do it or because you saw it on TikTok.
Let’s break down a wedding day in it’s simplest form.
When we look at a wedding day typically it goes:
Getting Ready Phase
Ceremony Phase
Reception Phase
Which means we need to add all the nitty gritty somewhere in between. What sort of things should you keep in mind?
The next question I asked myself is, “How do I want to experience the first time my groom sees me?” or “How do I want to experience the first time I see my bride?”
That’s going to determine if you should do a first look during there ceremony, which as a VIDEOGRAPHER is what I did! So don’t feel bad if you want to.
Or, if you want to do a first look BEFORE the ceremony. Honestly it doesn’t matter, but I will say this… don’t do it before simply because your photographer wants you to for “logistical” reasons or because your friend did it. Do it for you and you alone.
Then we need to figure what sort of formal photos we’re looking to capture during the wedding and when during the day we want to capture them:
Bridesmaids
Groomsmen
Full Wedding Party
Immediate Family
Extended Family (if you want… we didn’t)
If my couples don’t do a first look, I’ll do Bridesmaids and Groomsmen before the ceremony. Then the rest immediately after. Easy.
If they do a first look, then typically we’ll do the Bridesmaids, Groomsmen, and Full Wedding Party before the ceremony, and family immediately after.
Easy.
Now, the flow of the reception… does not matter. It doesn’t. Let me say it one more time for the people in the back… it doesn’t matter.
Here’s a few different flows for the reception you can copy if you want, but do it how you want.
Entrances/Cake Cutting/Dinner/Toasts/First Dances/Open Dancing
Entrances/First Dances/Dinner/Cake Cutting/Toasts/Open Dancing
Entrances/Dinner/Toasts/Cake Cutting/First Dances/Open Dancing
Sometimes… couple don’t even do grand entrances because they literally don’t want the attention on them. That’s okay too.
The point I’m trying to get across is that this is YOUR wedding day. Not the photographers, not the videographer, not the coordinators, not the DJ’s, not the caterer’s, not grandmas, not dads, not moms, not your sisters, or your brothers… it is yours and your partners. That’s it. There are absolutely important aspects that you undoubtably want to document and we’re here for you on that. Just always make sure you keep the bigger picture in mind. You’re here to get married and celebrate with your closest friends and family, not to put on a show for social media.
Hopefully this takes away some stress of trying to live up to the hype of what people are making weddings to be. They’re a beautiful moment of two people becoming one and a moment in time that should be soaked up.
Best of luck, and we’re here for you.
If you want to work alongside me to build a timeline, I’ve filmed an FREE training and posted it on our YouTube channel for you to use. I walk you through how I personally build a timeline and my entire thought process behind it. I’m very clear it stating it’s not how you SHOULD build a wedding timeline, but how I build one.
Here’s the link for you:
